19 January 2021

Strict Construction Update for the New Administration

Here's an update on The (Acceptable) Wall, just in time for the end of four years of drunken debauchery (and the beginning of years of a hangover) tomorrow (20 Jan 2021) at 1701Z.

Total US COVID-19 deaths as of 17 Jan 2021 (latest official report) 394,495  
Total US deaths recognized and memorialized at the Vietnam Memorial 58,318 
Length of Vietnam Memorial (meters) 150.5

Therefore, I shall magnanimously allow The Orange One to build (394,495/58,318) * 150.5m = 1.02km of that border Wall. With every name inscribed on it. That he must read out loud, which should take just about a month at the rate they were read at dedication of the Vietnam Memorial in 1982. That's a month that he won't be spouting insanity and fomenting insurrection.

Plus, it's cost effective. The Vietnam Memorial was budgeted at $8.4 million in 1978. Allow for a little bit of cost overrun, and estimate $10 million in 1978 dollars, or roughly $45 million. This is just about 6.8 times as long, so it might cost a hair over $300 million — less than twice the entire arts budget of the US government (the NEA) for 2020. I demand that the Orange One pay it; if one believes him, he can certainly afford it from pocket change, and my demand has exactly as much moral and legal force as a demand that Mexico pay for a wall at the US-Mexico border. Maybe Deutsche Bank can provide the completion bond? If, however, he insists on reallocating defense funds that are supposed to go to fighting armed enemies of the nation, it's still doablewithin budget.

We're just over halfway to the target length for such a wall, too. But as of midday (Eastern time) on 20 January 2021, there's an even better location: 26.676944, -80.036944. With his kids, of course. OK, so parts of it might require some marine engineering, but that will be even more good jobs!

*  *  *

I am hoping for, but not counting on, a peaceful transition tomorrow.