05 July 2020

Once Again, Merely Giving the King the Finger

…probably one of those blown off in home fireworks "celebrations" by people improvising in the absence of professional displays while one or more of (a) drinking, (b) refusing to read the f*cking manual, (c) under twelve (and therefore even more convinced of personal invincibility), (d) not completely cleaning off alcohol residue from hand sanitizer, or (e) notwithstanding anything else, being a candidate for a Darwin Award.

And it's the wrong bloody day anyway.

The birthday of the United States of America is 17 September 1787. That's when something was built. Plus, by mid-September dusk is early enough that kids, combat veterans, and animals won't be kept up all night recovering from the noise. <SARCASM> But that's mid-harvest so eighteenth-century farmers never would have agreed to it, and therefore we can't have it. Sort of like Iowa continuing to be the first Presidential primary; despite Iowa looking nothing like the rest of the nation, it gets to speak first. </SARCASM>

But even if you want to celebrate a "declaration," and demand keeping 1776 (which was about two years after open rebellion started and about seven years before British retreat), 04 July is the wrong day. You could choose from among 07 June, the introduction of the Lee Resolution; 02 July, the adoption of the Lee Resolution, based on the draft of the document that became the Declaration; 05 July, when the Declaration was entered into the journal of the Continental Congress as a "real thing" and distributed elsewhere among the Rebel Alliancerebelling colonies; 08 July, when it was formally sent to the Crown; 02 August, when the Declaration was actually signed; 10 August, when the news reached London; or approximately 10 November (accounts vary), when an official copy finally reached George III after an earlier copy was lost in transit.

So this nation doesn't even declare Mission Accomplished on the right day. No surprise, then, that we're fumbling the response to a real national crisis. Maybe we should declare 01 May… naaah, that's a celebration of international labor, and the plantation-owning class can't have that. Nor give a thought to what many veterans (I'm fortunate, it doesn't bother me) think of fireworks noises… especially as a "celebration" of something for which they've been shot at…