Welcome to our show! Today, our expert panel will try to determine which of our contestants are tyrants, and which merely imposters.
- Contestant Number One refined nepotism and personal favors in appointing government officials to a level seen only in Chicago today while distracting criticism through a hyperaggressive foreign policy, promoting the works of politically favored scientists while ignoring the actual science, and constantly retreating to his lavish estates to polish his self-image (so often that he changed the capital!). So, in French please, what's today's catchphrase?
- Contestant Number Two just had his head handed to him by the Supreme Court of the United Kingdom, which invoked Charles I's abuse of Parliamentary authority in holding that this contestant's suspension of Parliament in pursuit of a particular policy objective was unlawful, null and void. Plus, he's leading a parliamentary government as "prime minister" without a majority, but proclaiming absolute right to control. So, in French please, what's today's catchphrase?
- Contestant Number Three really wants his wall. Not that one. No, not that one, either. Despite his hyperagressive foreign policy potentially requiring military backup, he's been happy to divert funds for new submarine docks (intended to enhance security, especially against terrorists) to building it! So, in French please, what's today's catchphrase?
French is an immigrant language used in shithole countries like Haiti and Africa, so I won't pollute my mouth with it.
OK… it appears that Contestant Number Three is trying to get a head start outside the rules… So, over to you, panelists! Oh, I see we have a question from Panelist Three…
sotto voce Mr Daly, aren't they all tyrants? This is hardly a fair contest!