28 August 2019

Let's Be Worse!


I'm your host, Zombie Dag Hammarskjöld. On today's episode of Let's Be Worse! world leaders try to show that they're worse than Idi Amin! Let's meet today's contestants, in Roman-alphabetical order:

So let's have a warm round of applause for our contestants, because when they win — we all lose! [canned audience applause] At least so far, none of today's contestants have actually eaten any of their opponents — but there's still time to try! [canned audience applause, 4 sec. longer]

I'm so disappointed that we don't have a stage as big as the Democratic presidential debates, because there are potential candidates from Austria through Brazil to Zuckerbergistan, and every letter in between! So, Johnny, what do we have for the losers today?

[announcer's voice, off camera] Dag, everyone in the audience gets a free dose of apocalyptic fear — and like you said, they're the real losers!