2010 Turkey Awards

An annual tradition for over a decade! This is my list of ridiculous people from 2010 (so far). Pass me one of those rolls, please:

• The Greasy Gravy Award for oily publicity that makes the main dish inedible goes to the continued "whitewashing" of YA covers.
• The Red-Tide Oyster Stuffing Award for carelessly poisoning an otherwise tasty dish goes to the majority opinion in Citizens United, which continues to accept that "money = speech" at the same time it denies "obscenity (for some value of 'obscene') is speech, too."
• The Broken Wishbone Award for shattering dreams goes to James Frey for the million-and-first and million-and-second little lies.
• The Golden Gristle Award for assertions far too difficult to digest (and usually stuck in one's teeth) goes to Mystery Security Theater 3000 the Transportation Safety Administration. It's not sexual harassment — it's a Freedom Pat!
• The Crabapple Pie Award for marketing something sour as something sweet goes to the joint efforts of Macmillan USA and Amazon for reinvigorating price-fixing... and then lying about both what they're doing and why. It's a resale price maintenance agreement, guys.
• The Brussels Sprout Award for stinky, slimy, overcooked, gentrified little cabbages goes to Senate Rule 22, which governs defeating a filibuster... which is no longer a filibuster at all, as the members no longer need to remain standing and speaking.
• The Dried-Out Breastmeat Award for overcooking the books the participants in the Andrew Wylie/Random House fiasco.
• The Rancid Drumstick Award for something that should be edible, but isn't, goes to the counsel in the Google Book Search litigation who have collectively refused to acknowledge that their proposed settlement is untenable after the Supreme Court's decision in Muchnick made its class definitions and assumptions grossly underinclusive.