Holiday Weekend Annoyances

I'm easily annoyed.

• The vegetarian intended for our holiday-weekend vegetarian barbecue crawled out of the marinade. We'll just have to substitute lamb for beef (both are vegetarians... usually, anyway; ok, it was a really bad movie, but you get the point). On the other hand, we had a good laugh at the library while passing the new books shelves; I nudged the elder remora and told him that "The Complete Vegetarian is a cookbook." Just like To Serve Man...
• Cottonseed oil. In peanut butter. It's bad enough that cottonseed oil is toxic before refining (toxic enough that unrefined cottonseed oil is a moderately effective pesticide that also contains a lot of pesticide residue), that it's a major irritant for anyone with a skin condition (whether chronic or just sunburn) or who is subject to migraines, and that it's really not that much cheaper than anything else. But drawing peanut oil off from peanuts being processed into peanut butter and replacing it with cottonseed oil? That seems quite extreme... and so does using it in essential nutrients for law-enforcement professionals.
• Note to the local newspaper: You don't have to boast about the region's melanin deficiency. This is East Central Redneckistan: We already know that your idea of "news" is neofascist wingnuttery, that this region as a whole doesn't reflect much about national demographics (although the two cities in which you're based come a lot closer... which is not reflected in that story, is it?), and that you'd rather deny all recognition and voting status to anyone who doesn't fit your preconceived notions of 'murikanism. Maybe I should stop referring to your insult to dead trees (and your online insult to dead dinosaurs and ferns) as the News-Kazoo and call you the Nazi-Zeitung instead.
• Keeping local, what's Wolfram Alpha good for? Clearly not much in the biological sciences.
• And, speaking of local annoyances, what's up with the sudden glut of suburban assault vehicles (carrying only the driver) speeding in parking lots to get to a handicapped parking space? If it requires a stepladder to get into the driver's seat, is it really an appropriate vehicle for that?